Man U Virus

Well, can't let it be said that Man U fans can't take a laugh at themselves :P

The Man U Virus
This is where your PC thinks its far superior than any other PC and develops a memory disorder, forgetting anything that happened before 1993.

The David Beckham Virus
This affects newer PC's mainly. The computer looks great, all the lights are on, but nothing works.

The C.Ronaldo Virus
Progressive mutation of the David Beckham Virus, with the additional effect that the computer overclocks itself automatically and the lights blink frantically, but commands from the keyboard aren't reflected on the screen, and the CPU trips up every minute or so.

The Darren Fletcher Virus
This trojan comes bundled with official Man U software for some reason. Pretty harmless - hardly visible running in the background. So far impossible to uninstall or remove, unfortunately.

The Roy Keane Virus
This one is particularly nasty and will throw you out of Windows. Permanent physical damage to attached components possible.

The Paul Scholes Virus
This one only botches things up whenever you seriously try to tackle any task.

The Louis Saha Virus
This one's effects are still unknown because it has yet to appear, despite being touted to be very dangerous.

The Wayne Rooney Virus
This one's a beauty to behold even when it's trashing your computer. Overwrites hard disk with vulgarities.

The Ruud van Nistelrooy Virus
This one's totally lethal, but only when it's stored very very close to your boot sector.

The Fabien Barthez Virus
This one's not particularly harmful - but you just can't save anything.

The John O'Shea Virus
This one made a huge impact when it was first discovered, but never lived up to early promise.

The Rio Ferdinand Virus
This affects high-end PC's. The computer occassionally forgets to do its job, and demands a costly upgrade every few months, otherwise it goes into a sulk and shuts itself down.

The Mikael Silvestre Virus
This one's a regular, but not too sure what it's supposed to do when it activates.

The Neville Brothers Virus
Just when you think things can't get any worse, this one pops up and causes a calamitous error.

The Alex Ferguson Virus
Meta-virus that has the potential to produce any of the above viruses. Fortunately, also randomly removes them, other than the Darren Fletcher variant.